There is a verse in the Bible that says a man and woman will leave their father and mother and the two shall become one. The idea isn’t that you are no longer two separate beings (because you are), but that your lives are now so intertwined with each other that you blend together.
The hope is that as you go through marriage, you will make decisions as one. You will love as one. You will stand as one.
I don’t know about you. But I don’t always feel like I am “one” with my husband.
While there are many things that we agree upon, there are also circumstances that arise in which we can’t see eye-to-eye. So how do you maintain oneness in those situations?
I think it’s important to realize that being one doesn’t mean you will always feel the same way about things. And there is nothing wrong with that.
In fact, you both might have very strong opinions about something and neither is willing to bend. It may be that the way to stay one is to agree to disagree. Or you might meet somewhere in the middle.
Doing this in a peaceful, loving way isn’t always easy. But releasing expectations that your spouse is always going to agree with you…or think like you…or believe like you…well, you might as well let go of that fantasy.
One doesn’t mean sameness. You aren’t supposed to be the same person, because you both bring something unique to the marriage.
Strengths and weaknesses can even help each other out. Differing thoughts and opinions can help each other see another side of the issue. That can be a really good thing.
I guess my point is that in the pursuit of becoming one, we can’t lose sight of the fact that we are still two very different people. Although our lives are melded together, it doesn’t take away from the unique person within each of us.
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