Although infidelity is probably one of the biggest reasons for couples to divorce, I did a little research on some of the other causes. One thing I found (and was a little surprised about) is that arguing is another big reason for ending a marriage.
So why am I surprised? Maybe it’s my own deluded thinking, but doesn’t every couple argue?
Okay…I know, I know. Arguing once-in-a-while and every single day is very different. I will give you that.
But arguing in itself doesn’t seem to be a good reason to divorce. The act of disagreeing, fighting or whatever else you want to call it is really just a surface issue.
There has to be deeper problems. So if you haven’t discovered what those are, then I think using the reason as “arguing too much” to not be a very good one.
How about uncovering the issues that are really at hand? Perhaps if more couples did this, they would then find a resolution. Of course, that may not happen and it could reveal problems that don’t have an answer.
My point is that you should have a pretty valid reason for choosing to end a marriage. A general statement of “We argue too much” isn’t one. But if you can elaborate on that and explain what the deeper issues are, then you might have something.
Arguing can actually be healthy. Couples who stew in silence, who refuse to address difficulties don’t stand a chance at working things out.
The key is to be able to argue about issues and not make it personal. In other words, not pointing fingers, blaming and attacking the other person about things that really have nothing to do with what’s going on.
Can you argue your way to a divorce? I do think you can. But once it’s all over and done with, the real problems never got dealt with.
Try to get to the root when you find arguing to be a constant battle in your marriage. Instead of it ending, you could actually grow closer together.
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