I don’t handle surprises well. So when my ex husband lost his job last month I started feeling a little crazy. You would think now that we’re divorced these things wouldn’t affect me quite as much, but I think the opposite is true. This meant child support was cut in half, which was a huge hit for me since money was already tight. It also meant that our son’s visitation schedule was a little more up in the air. My ex was able to go back to an old job working at a local restaurant, which meant working nights and weekends just like he did while we were married. Because everything was so up in the air I had to learn to be flexible with him. I still wanted my son to be able to see his dad despite this new schedule, but if his dad was going to make enough money to be able to live he needed to work those weekends. So we played with the schedule and eventually were able to work something out so he was taking him overnight during the week instead of on the weekends.
With me back in school and him working this crazy new schedule we both have had to work together to make sure we are both getting the time with our son. At times it can be frustrating, especially when things come up last minute. I’m a big planner, so it’s hard for me not to know exactly when he’s planning on taking him and when he isn’t; but I have learned to be flexible. Sometimes it’s hard to keep a good attitude about it, especially since it has taken such a toll on me financially on top of everything else, but I have to remember that I am doing this for my son, so that he can have a good relationship with his dad and spend time with him like he should. If I keep the focus on him it makes it easier to deal with.