In the past week, I have written quite a bit about being a strict parent. Are You a Strict Parent, What Does Strict Parenting Look Like, and Teens Rule if You Don’t Set Teen Rules are the topics that were covered.
The above mentioned articles were targeted at parents who had pretty relaxed rules at home, and were struggling to deal with their kids. On the other end of the spectrum, however, are parents who are too strict with their teens.
Too strict discipline comes in two forms:
There are parents who are strict with kids pretty much from birth so the kids dare not defy them. These kids give the parents little trouble, but they also end up not being able to think for themselves as they are too controlled by their parents.
There are also parents who suddenly becomes strict when the child reaches puberty. This is common with fathers and daughters. This kind of too strict behavior when there were previously a relaxed loving relationship results in pushing the child away and alienating them. This child will surely rebel and exhibit the exact behavior that the parent is trying to avoid.
But what qualifies as too strict? Too strict discipline borders on abusive and sometimes even crosses the line. Here are some things that parents need to assess to decide if they are over-doing it.
Punishment for every mistake: Kids need room to make mistakes, especially in the teen years. If they disobey a direct order, or repeat a bad behavior, by all means, punish them, but if they were truly in error, no more than a firm talking too is necessary.
Not allowing them to go out or unreasonable curfew: Teens who never spend time outside of the classroom with friends, will quickly find themselves friendless. By never letting them go out or making them turn in hours before everyone else, you are being unreasonable in denying them a social life.
Harsh physical punishment: Once your kids are teens, spankings, if you believe in them, should be a thing of the past. Teens are old enough to reason and have mature conversations, hitting them is unnecessary. Some parents make kids to push ups, and others make them clean the garage for major infractions, and that is acceptable, but if they have to do push-ups every time they open their mouths, or if they are subject to military school type punishments, then the parents may be going too far.
~If you liked this you should also read my other posts at the home blog, the homeschooling blog, the parents blog, and the frugal blog. You can read my recent posts here.
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