It’s hard to be an only child, well, I imagine it is, I have four siblings so I don’t know firsthand. I’ve always felt bad that Hailey didn’t have a houseful of siblings, and then after I got divorced I felt even worse, the poor kid had to go through the divorce alone, no siblings to talk to about how she was feeling.
Due to fertility issues I always knew Hailey would be my only child and she knew from a young age that she wouldn’t have any siblings because Mommy’s tummy is broken. Of course that didn’t stop her from putting it on her Christmas list a few times, after all, Santa can do anything.
After the divorce I knew that I wouldn’t be starting a new family but when Hailey was fifteen her father gave her a sister, Ivy. I know many people whose parents divorced and their father went on to start another family and they don’t have a relationship with those siblings, we did not want that for our girls. Now Hailey has a strange, fragmented family that seems to work for her. Hailey’s Dad is not with Ivy’s mother anymore so making sure the girls have a relationship takes some work, but we all feel it is important.
Now Hailey has three adults that work together to co parent her. Ivy’s mother, Marlana, is another adult Hailey can talk to, who is not her parent but has her best interests at heart. At times people think we are a little strange, I attend Ivy’s birthday parties and see her at holidays and occasionally she will have a sleepover with her sister. Marlana works very hard to make sure Hailey has time with her sister, this is unusual but she has a big heart, not many women would hand off their baby to the ex wife and be okay with it, Marlana is.
This weekend we had a sleepover with Ivy because her third birthday is coming and Hailey wanted to take her to Build A Bear. They had so much fun together, big sister and little sister. The sweetest sight was to see them walking through the mall, holding hands, with Ivy dragging her Build a Bear box containing her new stuffie.
It’s all very new for both of them, and a little hard for Ivy to understand exactly what it means to have a sister. Hailey tried to explain that they have the same Daddy but Ivy insists that he is her Daddy, not sister’s. One day she will understand and she will know her sister, because the adults in her life were able to put aside their petty differences.