As little girls we spent our days dreaming of that knight in shining armor who was going to sweep us off our feet. He’d lift us up onto that white horse of his and we’d ride off into the sunset to find a world of perfect children who always listened, were never dirty, and cleaned their rooms without ever being asked. There is never any laundry and the dishes are always clean. Then we grew up and had to find out for ourselves that life isn’t quite the fairytale we always dreamed of. My son rarely listens, is usually dirty, and his room is never clean. Mounds of laundry fill every corner of my life and dishes can often be found in the sink. Those Disney movies certainly had me fooled! I’d probably live happily ever after too if I never had to wash dishes or clean the house!
As children we often fantasize about how wonderful life will be when we are all grown up. When we get there we realize it isn’t all gumdrops and rainbows; it’s a lot of hard work. I remember thinking about the man I would marry. We were going to be crazy in love, we’d never fight, and we were going to live happily ever after. Life didn’t work out that way for me. Perhaps these childhood fantasies gave me unrealistic expectations about what life was really going to be. I certainly never dreamed I’d be divorced and a single mother by the time I was 21.
There is nothing wrong with letting our children dream. We want them to be optimistic and have goals in their lives, but we need to teach them to be realistic in their optimism. They need to know that they are going to have to work hard to reach those goals; that life isn’t just going to hand them their dreams, they are going to have to chase after them. Teach them to never give up. Life is tricky business, but there’s no reason you can’t make your own happily ever after come true.