While we might think that communication is a skill we naturally develop, that isn’t necessarily true. Some of us could actually use a class on how to effectively communicate.
A few years ago when I was pursuing a degree in education, I took a class on communication. I was surprised to learn some of the things that I struggled with. I didn’t realize how much I interrupt people and I also didn’t realize how the tone of my voice came across sometimes.
There were times in the past when my husband would say that I was talking “down” to him and I really couldn’t understand what he was saying. I would get defensive and argue that I wasn’t. But in reality I was only solidifying what he had just said.
Communication is also about listening, which goes back to my issue with interrupting. When you are ready to interrupt someone, you aren’t really listening to what the other person has to say. You are only thinking about what you want to say.
Listening was a huge struggle for me when I was first married. Oh don’t get me wrong, it can still sneak up and become an issue but thankfully it is nowhere near what it used to be.
One of the things I have discovered however, is that listening to my husband is really my way of showing him respect. True listening means I’m not thinking about what I am going to say next. I take in what he has to say. I acknowledge that I have truly heard him.
Our communication has come a long way but of course, there is still work to be done. My focus has to be on myself and learning how to be a better listener. Learning how to listen is something we could probably all use a lesson on. How can you be a better listener to your spouse?
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