Sometimes, quite without meaning to, we can hurt our single friends and make them feel uncomfortable. So what can you do to help your single friend? Here are some suggestions.
Don’t always talk about your spouse and your family to them. I don’t have many single friends and so this was something I hadn’t thought about till a single friend mentioned it one time in passing, when talking about another person. But once she said it, I could see the problem.
By talking too much about our spouse and our family we can make the single person more aware and resentful of what they are missing out on especially if their singleness is not through their own choice but dictated by circumstances of not having met the right one or having suffered a broken relationship.
Obviously you will talk about them sometimes but make sure you have other topics of conversation, like books, movies etc and don’t only talk about your spouse and family and the fun times you enjoy together. Especially don’t bombard them with cute pictures of the kids. Of course don’t go to the other extreme and never show them a photo of the family or that could be hurtful too. But keep it in moderation.
Don’t try and set them up with single people from your work place, church or other social contract group. Most times when people try and arrange these set ups they don’t work. Everyone ends up uncomfortable. Also you may think you know what your friends is looking for in a mate, you may have even heard them give a checklist but often that can go out the window when the person meets someone. They find what they thought they wanted isn’t that at all.
Resist the urge to never invite them over for a meal with the family. Maybe invite three or four single people at the one time. But also make time for your single friend somewhere just the two of you when you can talk, maybe over coffee or a lunch.
I’d love to hear any other suggestions from singles or married people about this.
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