“My other car is a Lamborghini. Just like this one.”
That’s one bumper sticker you’ll never see on my vehicle.
After all, it’d look pretty silly on the back of my bike.
Just as I don’t have time to turn turkey bones into chandeliers, I simply don’t have the income to drop $50,000 to have my kid attend a fancy schmancy kindergarten.
However, this is not a problem for some of the world’s most affluent parents.
Forking over 50 grand so their child can be surrounded by other rich kids and learn Mandarin in a highly-integrated community equipped with the wonders of modern technology, a rooftop playground and a full-size gym with Olympic grade basketball and volleyball courts, is a no-brainer for wealthy moms and dads. It’s the angst associated with their child not getting accepted to these high-end institutions that creates a major hardship.
Ah, rich parent problems.
But, hey, this is serious stuff. Are you listening; all you middle class moms and dads worrying about how you are going to pay your measly mortgage, keep the lights on, and put food on the table?
According to top New York therapists, the Big Apple is ripe with panicked parents desperate to get their youngsters into the toniest kindergartens in the city. In fact, said parents are so stressed out about securing little Camden and Clementine’s spot that they are seeking psychiatric counseling following interviews with school admission officials.
The New York Post reports that getting into the city’s most prestigious kindergartens has become so cutthroat that wealthy moms are going to extremes to impress school officials—“right down to fretting over whether they’re carrying the right Hermes purse on school tours.”
“It’s traumatizing. I hear parents say, ‘I just have to leave the city.’ I’m trying to help them stay grounded,” Dr. Lisa Spiegel, a Manhattan therapist told the Post.
Spiegel says her sessions typically include parents talking about the highly competitive admissions process and their fear of failing their 5 year olds.
The Soho shrink goes on to share that some pregnant clients have even asked whether they should have labor induced in order for their unborn child to be considered for kindergarten before the September 1st cut-off date.
Meanwhile, others moms wonder if they should continue reproducing given how much their sanity suffers during the kindergarten admissions process.
Now you know why more and more Mercedes are sporting this bumper sticker: “Condoms prevent minivans.”