Most of us would probably say that trust is something you earn. Sometimes it is automatically given until it is broken.
In a parenting relationship, trust comes in another way. It is being able to trust in who our children are. I would bet that many of us enter into the world of parenting with some ideas floating around in our minds of what we envision our children to be.
If we hang onto those visions so tightly that we can’t see any other way, our trust in who are children become will be shattered. But that isn’t on them. It is on us.
I know a family who envisioned something their child would become. It didn’t seem to matter what the child thought, they had their own ideas on the direction he should go.
So he was pushed and manipulated to go that direction. But it ended up backfiring. He didn’t succeed and it fractured their relationship. I would guess that he has some animosity toward them for making him go a way he never wanted to.
This is more than just being a helicopter parent. This is being one who tries to control their children, as if they are puppets on strings.
Sure, you might get away with it for a time. But don’t expect it to last long. Or at least don’t expect your child to always appreciate it.
Releasing my idea of who I envision my children to be is sometimes difficult. Just when I thought I had it all figured out, something comes along to show me differently. It is a humbling reality check as a parent.
Do you trust your children to become who they are meant to be? Or are you so fixated on your own ideas that you cannot possibly let go?
Perhaps it is time to do just that…set your child free to become all they are meant to be, even if it doesn’t line up with your way of thinking.
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