One of the pleasures that I get in writing for Families on teen issues is being able to share many of my positive experiences. Too often teens get a bad rap. We hear all of the negative things about teens and so many parents go into those years with a sense of dread.
I was forewarned before I became a parent of teenagers. It was made to sound like the worst years of my life were just ahead. It would be nothing but trouble and misery. However I have found raising teenagers to be the very opposite. I think it has been a wonderful experience to see my children enter this new stage of life.
I’m not naïve, however. I do know that challenging teen issues are out there. My head is not in the sand. In fact I keep myself very informed on the latest teen issues so that I am prepared and knowledgeable.
I especially enjoy watching the Dr. Phil episodes where he talks about the latest teen trends. I have learned so much from those insightful shows. However with shows like that we can sometimes get the impression that raising teenagers is hopeless. I am here to declare that teens are not hopeless.
I think that parents first have to get rid of the negative mindset and expectations in raising teenagers. Sometimes you get exactly what you fear. If parents go into the teen years with fear and anxiety, you are almost inviting the worst to happen. I have chosen to enter these years with a positive outlook.
Parents also need to understand that they are powerful influences for their children. Yes, teens do deal with peer pressure and some of the negative influences that bombard them through media. However if parents give up their teens to those things without trying to make an effort, then you can be sure that you have lost them.
Many parents are too quick to throw their hands up in the air, to not be willing to dedicate the time and energy that is needed in raising teens. This is not the time to back away or shirk your responsibilities as a parent. This is not the time to start spending more time outside the home. This is the time when your presence is desperately needed and you need to give full attention to your children.
Parenting teens requires knowledge of what is going on in their lives. It means knowing the names of their friends, what activities they are involved in, where they are going and who they are going with. Information is paramount when raising teenagers.
Parents need to create an environment for their teens where they can succeed. There are so many ways that can be done. It can be nurturing healthy interests and hobbies or getting them involved in things that help develop good character.
As a parent of teenagers I have experienced some bumps in the road. But I have also experienced more joys and good times in these years. I am honored to be part of the process in watching my children move toward their adult years. I am also so thankful to know that teens are not hopeless.
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