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One wedding tradition I didn’t follow at my own reception was the tossing of the bouquet and garter. I didn’t like the idea that it symbolized women scrabbling to be the next to get married, or having Jon remove an article of my clothing in front of everyone. If we look at the origins of this particular wedding tradition, we can see how it evolved.
Traditionally, brides carried a bouquet that contained strong-smelling herbs and spices. This was, in part, another way of warding off evil spirits, but it could also serve to sweeten the proceedings if any of the people involved hadn’t bathed in a while (which was common). But why did the bride start throwing her bouquet?
Centuries ago the bride was considered good luck, and so if you could remove a piece of her clothing, you could capture a piece of that luck. It would get to the point where the bride would be harassed with wedding guests all crowding on her and trying to tear off pieces of her dress. The bride would throw her bouquet as a distraction while she and the groom escaped.
Men throw the garter for similar reasons. In medieval times, the bride and groom were accompanied to the wedding chamber to make sure they consummated the marriage. Sometimes guests would continue to try to get in the action of removing the bride’s clothing for luck. Thus before the bride and groom left, they would throw both the bouquet and the garter at the crowds for distraction. The groom publicly removing the garter in front of witnesses also signified his intent to remove the rest of the bride’s clothing and consummate the marriage.
Just as the bouquet became imbued with the idea that the woman who caught it would marry next herself, the garter took on similar meaning. It was thought that whichever man caught it, would be guaranteed faithfulness from his future bride. For a while one of the duties of the best man was to “steal” the garter, cut it up into pieces, and distribute it to the rest of the wedding party.
Sometimes guests could get rowdy going for the garter, so the bride would wear something that would dangle and thus come off easily. In the 17th and 18th centuries, for a garter the bride would wear a silk sash below the knee. The sash was considered good luck, and whichever groomsman stole it would wear it in his hat for the rest of the party.
There used to be a particular English custom related to the garter. Guests at the wedding, or in some cases just the groomsmen, would sneak into the wedding chamber. They’d steal the bride’s stockings, then hide and toss them at the bride and groom (who were, presumably, in bed at the time). Whomever hit the groom (or in some cases either the bride or the groom) in the head or on the face would be the next to marry. The tossing of the garter served to discourage this particular tradition.
It’s funny to look at how some of our wedding traditions have rather goofy origins. But they can still be silly fun, even if we know how they evolved (and even if we choose not to partake in them ourselves, as I did).
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*(The above image by Rosen Georgiev is from freedigitalphotos.net).