There are some things that you should never say to a teen. They are statements like, “Hold on.” “We’ll talk later.” “Just give me a few minutes” and the list goes on.
What exactly am I talking about? When your teen is ready to talk, you better be ready to listen. This isn’t an issue of who is in charge; this is an issue of being available at the moment your teen is ready to talk. Because let’s face it, teens aren’t always ready to do this.
You sometimes lose valuable moments and meaningful conversations when you don’t stop what you are doing and make yourself available. I can’t tell you the number of times one of my teens wanted to talk and I responded with “Hold on” or something similar and the response back was, “Never mind.”
It is pretty difficult to pull your teen back in when your message to them is, “Something else is more important right now.”
This is not easy but it is something I am striving to do. I don’t always want to stop what I am doing but I know that hearing from my teen is more important.
Just the other day I was walking my mile on my treadmill and my daughter called out, “Mom!” I responded, “What?” She said, “I need to talk to you.” Honestly, everything within me wanted to say, “Let me finish my mile.” I didn’t want to stop. I really didn’t want to stop. But I did.
I hopped off that treadmill and went into my daughter’s bedroom where she began to tell me about a problem she was having with a friend. This was a very important issue to her and I thought about it afterwards how I would have missed that opportunity had I told her to wait.
I know that for some parents the idea of not being able to tell your child to wait sounds like they are running the show. But this really isn’t about that. Many of the moments that teens experience are very big deals to them, even if we don’t see it that way. They are desperate when they are ready to talk and we should make ourselves immediately available.
If you want your teen to share with you, then make yourself available. Yes, even if it means stopping what you are doing.
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