My 8-year-old has the patience of… well, an 8-year-old.
Actually, on many days her ability to wait without whining or complaining is more on par with a 4-year-old.
She’d kill me if she knew I was comparing her to a preschooler. Then again, I’ll probably die first from having to tolerate her incessant bellyaching each time she is asked to keep her composure while waiting for whatever it is she wants right NOW!
And by now, she means the millisecond her request leaves her lips.
During my daughter’s last well child check-up I discussed the issue of delayed gratification with her pediatrician. Dr. W is a mom of five kids and her advice is typically spot-on. She suggested giving my daughter a timer to set and watch when I can’t immediately assist her. Now, when I say I will help her in 5 or 10 minutes she sets the timer, waits for the alarm to go off, and then reminds me of my commitment to help her. The timer gives her a visual aid and forces me to keep my word.
When it comes to teaching kids how to successfully exercise patience, most childhood experts agree parents should practice the following:
Model Proper Behavior: Since parents are the prime teachers of patience, it’s critical that you are cognizant of the example you are setting. For example, if you suffer from road rage or go ballistic while waiting for the person in front of you to complete his transaction at the ATM machine, your kids will likely mirror your response. Remember that little eyes and ears are always soaking up what they see and hear, so instead of spitting out a string swear words when you are stuck in traffic, consider singing along to the radio or playing I Spy with your children.
Teach Simple Strategies: Don’t complicate the issue of delayed gratification. Rather, give your kids simple techniques they can use when being forced to wait. If you have younger children, give them clear-cut choices. For example, if you are waiting in a long line at the grocery store, have your daughter select a fun way to pass the time, such as reading a board book from your diaper bag or softly humming a favorite song.
Positive Reinforcement: When your child waits patiently in a restaurant or sits quietly while you finish a phone call, don’t forget to recognize his efforts. You don’t have to throw him a party; instead, simply tell him that he did a great job waiting and acknowledge when something is taking an extra long time.