Do you attempt to micromanage your teenager’s life? What that really means is you are trying to control it. Yet these are the years when we have to learn when to let go, when to start loosening the apron strings.
This takes a lot of trust and for me, prayer. It’s difficult to do. You sometimes question whether you have done too much or not enough in letting go.
At the same time, new freedoms must be earned. The first day your teen gets his or her driver’s license, you don’t hand over the keys and say, “Have at it!” No, you establish rules and boundaries.
The same is true for many other areas. Each situation must be taken on a case-by-case basis.
Now here’s where we can still get into trouble. We allow the freedom of something but then we even try to micromanage that. We tell our teen how to do it, when and so on.
Again, there should be rules put in place. But we can’t control every single detail of our teen’s lives.
Micromanaging shows a lack of trust and faith in your teen’s abilities. It makes them feel like a child, instead of the young adult they are starting to grow into. Continue to treat your teen like a child; they will continue to act that way.
But when you give opportunity for growth, they tend to accept those responsibilities with a little bit more maturity. Most teens really do want to prove they can handle the freedoms we allow. If we continue to micromanage, they are defeated.
Perhaps we just need to realize that our teens are more capable than we think. I definitely struggle with this at times. I am constantly reminded, “Mom, I’m not five years old!” What my teen is really saying is, “Hey mom, I got this…let me own it.”