My youngest sister is having a baby. She is 8 years younger than me, and I have always seen her as my baby sister. But, now she is having a baby of her own, and I couldn’t be more thrilled for her! I was thinking about some mistakes I made as a first-time Mom and how I wish I would have known better. Although, we all have to live and learn, so mistakes might not be the right word. However, I am proud to say that after baby #3, I do know better. I have learned from my mistakes as all first-time Moms do. I did a lot of things differently this time around with baby #3, and I think it has made me happier, and more relaxed, and hopefully a better Mom to my three kids. This article will be a three part series where I share ten things I learned from those mistakes:
1. Let your husband have a turn. In fact, demand it- My poor husband. When we had our first, I had such a hard time letting him do ANYTHING. If he was getting her dressed, it wasn’t in the right thing. If he was changing a diaper, it was taking too long. If he was trying to soothe her in the middle of the night so I wouldn’t have to get up, I got up anyway. He could do nothing right. But, the truth is, he really could. He may not have done it the way I would have, but I am not the only parent to that child. He knows a thing or two too, or at least he is entitled to getting a chance to learn.
2. Your baby will survive a night without you. I hated to pump and I never did formula until #3. So, I did all the work every single night as a first time mom. It was exhausting. I couldn’t think clearly, and I was a mess. The truth is, that your baby can be fed from a bottle. It’s OK to take a night off. Just make sure your wear earplugs, sleep in the basement, do whatever it is you need to do so you don’t hear what’s going on. The baby will survive the night without you. Repeat that in your head 5 times.
3. Don’t check on the baby when she’s sleeping. I had a co-sleeper next to my bed for the first 4 months. The problem? I am a super light sleeper. So, every little sound she made I was jumping out of bed to see if she was still alive. She was. She is now a beautiful 6 year old. And, my other two? They have survived too. Getting my baby to sleep in his/her own bed was always been a huge help to me. Co-sleeping is great for many people, but do what is right for you.
4. Let go of the guilt. So, a confession. I’m still working on this one. But, I had so much more Mommy guilt the first time around. I think it’s natural. But, try to let go of as much as you can. If you let her cry while you decide to take a shower, she will still love you when you get out.
Stay tuned for parts 2 and 3 of this series where I will share the rest of the things I learned from my mistakes.