After Job’s friends have had their say and Job has replied, Elihu decides get into the advice business. He can keep quiet no longer, it seems. His anger is bubbling up with in him and it needs an outlet. He is angry with Job because he still maintains his innocence and he is angry with Job’s three friends because ‘they had come up with no answers, and yet had condemned job,’ Job 32:3.
Elihu’s speech was born out of anger, which is never a good starting point for giving advice. The other problem is that even though younger than Job and his friends, he has the arrogance of youth, Job 32:10. He is certain he has the answers when the others have been able to supply them. Arrogance and absolute certainty that our advice is right are not good starting points.
He feels a need to defend God and His actions. Elihu says that at times God uses suffering to chasten his people and there is some truth in what he says. He suggests God’s purpose is redemptive and that suffering has a purpose in restoring a person to God, Job 33:26, 29-30. He claims when God doesn’t answer prayer it is because of pride, Job 35:12. The implication of this is that if God does not answer Job as Job has complained is the case, then Job must be the one at fault.
Although there are certain elements of truth about God in Elihu’s speeches, e.g. Job 36:15 and other passages that point to God’s Almighty power as creator and the One who allows all that happens, Job 37:5-13, Elihu’s words are still lacking in understanding towards Job. Though perhaps because there is more truth about God in his speeches, Elihu escapes the chastisement of God that comes to the other three, Job 42:7.
So having looked at Job’s friends and their advice what points can we arrive at to help us when giving advice to those suffering? These are in no particular order.
1. Don’t make assumptions and assume you know all the facts and the reason behind what is happening.
2. Have a genuine concern for the person and their suffering.
3. Don’t be judgmental or confrontational but show compassion and empathy.
4. Don’t always want to talk. Be prepared to be quiet and listen.
5. Pray about the words you are to say and how to respond.
6. Don’t claim to have absolute knowledge of God and how He will act. . Allow God to be God and don’t box Him into your expectations of how and when He should act.
7. Be humble and don’t expect to always be able to fix the problem or have all the answers. Sometimes simply being there might be enough.
8. Don’t start from the point of anger.
9. Start where the person as, at their point of need. Don’t let your pre-conceived ideas dictate your words and actions.
10. Allow for the fact that bad things happen to godly people.
If you have any thoughts on this subject and how to help others in times of suffering, or how you have been helped, I’d love to hear them.
Bible verses taken from The New American Standard Version
Please visit these related blogs
How not to give advice – part 2