Today we are going to look at another way we can push our teens away, as we venture into part 5 of my series, “10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away.” The focus for this blog is on believing that our teens don’t need us.
This can happen one of two ways. The first is that we make the assumption that since they are older, they need us less. The second is that our teens subtly or blatantly send the message they don’t need us.
I have heard some parents say that once their kids are teenagers, they will have more time for themselves. They view the teenage years as one where everybody gets freedom. But I believe that they need us even more during these years.
Our availability is crucial as they venture their way through the sometimes tumultuous waters of adolescence. It can be a fun, confusing, enjoyable, difficult, exciting, yet terrible time. Lots of emotions and changes are going on. So we can’t make the mistake of thinking they don’t need us. They need us more than ever.
You may be saying, “I know my teen doesn’t need me as much anymore. He told me so.” Our teens say a lot of things, many times out of anger, confusion and frustration. Even when they act like they would rather be anywhere else other than with us, the truth is that they need us.
Sure, they probably would prefer to spend more time with their friends, hanging out at the mall or going to a movie. That is just the reality of this season as they are beginning to break away. But that doesn’t mean they no longer have need of you.
If you send the message that you believe they don’t need you, it pushes them away. They will accept this at face value. They won’t force themselves into our lives.
I truly believe that many times our teens secretly appreciate our presence in their lives. Yes, even while they are rolling their eyes at us or asking if you can walk several feet behind them while you stroll through the store.
Believe they need you…because they do!
Related Articles:
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Don’t Listen to Them (Part 1)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Focus Only on the Wrong (Part 2)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Expect Your Teen to Be Perfect (Part 3)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Offer Advice When They Don’t Want It (Part 4)
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