Maybe this isn’t a problem for you but it is definitely one for me, sarcasm. I believe it was inherited from my father. In fact, I remember as a teenager really not liking it when he was sarcastic. So I have to really work on that when it comes to my teens.
Today in the “10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away,” we are going to look at what can be a common problem for parents who are trying to get their point across, the use of sarcasm. I had always considered it to be a “funny” way of expressing myself but when I started really looking into this; I realized it is far from that.
If you aren’t convinced, let’s consider what the word sarcasm means. According to Merriam Webster’s, one definition is: “a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain.” Ouch, I am feeling the pain myself.
I had never considered that my sarcasm was cutting or causing pain. But it explains why my teens don’t respond well to it.
If you think about it, sarcasm comes across as demeaning. It makes you sound like you are so much better. And in turn, it tears the other person down.
Sometimes I feel like I can’t win when I am trying to get my point across. I might be accused of yelling (in which I sometimes respond, “Really? You think that’s yelling? Let me show you yelling”) or that I’m not listening. But I think some of these communication deficiencies really stem from my sarcasm.
The more sarcastic we are toward our teens, the more it pushes them away. Who wants to share their thoughts and feelings with someone who is going to come back with something biting?
Thankfully this isn’t a huge problem for me. But it is still one that I slip up with every-so-often. So I have to reign it back in.
If you are trying to get a point across to your teen, just say it. Don’t tiptoe around it, don’t be coy or subtle. And most definitely don’t use sarcasm.
Related Articles:
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Don’t Listen to Them (Part 1)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Focus Only on the Wrong (Part 2)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Expect Your Teen to Be Perfect (Part 3)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Offer Advice When They Don’t Want It (Part 4)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Believe They Don’t Need You (Part 5)
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