Have you heard of the book 100 Things To Do Before You Die? (Not to be confused with 101 Things To Do Before You Die, which, while the title’s similar, is an entirely different beast of a book and was written by a different author, Richard Horne.) Dave Freeman, one of the 100’s co-authors, died this past August.
I’ve never read the book, but I certainly got a sense of the man. Here’s a snippet from his obituary in the Los Angeles Times:
The “100 Things” approach later swept the publishing industry, said Neil Teplica, who wrote the book with Freeman.
The title meant “you should live every day like it would be your last, and there’s not that many people who do,” Teplica told The Times. “It’s a credit to Dave — he didn’t have enough days, but he lived them like he should have.” ~-By Valerie J. Nelson, published August 26, 2008-~
I don’t remember where I stumbled across his obituary. It could’ve been that Jade, who happens to be an obit lover (and writes them herself, click here to check out her obit blog), directed me to it. All I know is ever since I read about him, it’s got me thinking about life, love, and what kinds of things we should strive to take away from both before we leave this world.
Maybe it’s because of all I’ve gone through with my mom this year. Maybe it’s because Dave Freeman was only 47 and Wayne and I are not far off from that. Maybe it’s because of the cruelty of Mr. Freeman’s death.
Not that he was murdered or anything. But here was a man who was a life enthusiast. He couldn’t wait for the next adventure. He had experienced as many of them as he could in his life. Some people take their days for granted. Not Mr. Freeman. Yet, he died not while on some grand, thrill-seeking adventure, but because he slipped, fell, and hit his head in his own home. Talk about a cruel twist of fate.
At any rate, ever since I read about him, I keep contemplating the type of things every marriage should experience before dying. (And when I say “dying” I don’t mean divorce. Rather, I mean coming to an end because one or the other spouse dies.) Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
1. Spending at least one rainy morning snuggled together in bed, not getting frisky, not worrying about rushing off anywhere, but just laying there either listening to the rain and talking or watching a good movie together.
2. A fight so big and intense you don’t talk for a day or two. (Or longer.) One so bad it makes you question your marriage’s foundations. Why? Because when you make up from it, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing your marriage has some pretty solid roots after all and can withstand such a storm.
3. Kids and/or pets. It does a marriage good to be responsible for someone or something else other than the two primary parties involved.
4. Having a family portrait taken at least once, even if the family only consists of the husband and wife.
5. Giving back. Whether that be regularly making donations to a favorite charity or volunteering for a special cause, doing for others truly is a “get what you give” proposition. Give good, you feel good.
Five down, 95 more to think about…
Question for Readers
What things do you think a marriage should experience before dying?
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