Getting your child to stop whining can be an uphill battle. In their book, Whining: 3 Steps To Stopping It Before The Tears and Tantrum Starts, co-authors Dr. Carolyn Crowder and Dr. Audrey Ricker offers help for harried parents.
The authors note that kids aren’t born knowing how to whine, but they learn how to do so by an early age. They learn by watching older siblings, watching kids on TV, or observing other kids at preschool or daycare. They also learn how to whine from their parents, so be careful how you behave.
Most kids whine to get their way. Whining is a way for kids to manipulate their parents. Most whining occurs when you are in public. Kids know that others are watching and if they are loud enough, their parents might give in to avoid the embarrassment.
The three-steps are: consequences, assertiveness and contribution.
In the first step, consequences, parents just say no to whining. Whenever and wherever it happens, you should let your child know that it is not acceptable. If your child whines when you are out in public, you should take them home, for instance.
The second step, assertiveness, means telling your child what you expect of them.
The final step, contribution, allows your child to feel that he is making a meaningful contribution to the family. A parent can achieve this by giving their child a task to do.
When kids win through whining, they gain a sense of power over their parents. If parents continue to give in to this behavior, the whining will continue. However, all is not lost; parents can use the three-step method to eliminate this negative behavior. The authors also point out that whining should not be considered “just a phase”, something that kids grow out of. If not stopped, whining can have lasting effects on your child including feelings of self-pity and unpopularity among your child’s peers and teachers.
See Also:
How To Make Your Child Whine-free
Who Said That Two Is So Terrible?
Disney Does What Parents Can’t- Stops Kids Whining