I thought that headline might get your attention. Far too often we focus on the negative report of statistics that indicate relationships won’t succeed and that marriages end in divorce. I remember when I was growing up; I would wonder why people bothered to get married. I remember watching some wedding ceremony on a soap opera and finding it rather boring. Why boring? Because on a soap opera there really is no such thing as happily ever after and a couple may get married but they will likely divorce in a year or two and that divorce will either be due to an affair, brainwashing or because one character or other is leaving the show.
In real life, most of the kids I knew at school were like me, they lived in a single parent home. There were some whose parents were divorced and others whose parents never married. There were always articles about the generation of children growing up in the 70s and the 80s. We were latch key kids and we were products of broken homes. We were destined to be eternally damaged because unlike our parents or children of the 50s, the golden era of families was over.
Is the Age of Marriage Over?
One would think to look back on those two decades that none of us would ever bother to get married. After all, we had front row seats to how badly marriage can go. We knew what it was like – or did we? I did know some married couples and I certainly could read news stories about couples celebrating their 25th and 50th anniversaries, but I never imagined marriage was a fairytale.
Even if I had imagined that, one of the fairytale romances of my generation ended in a divorce and was later capped by the tragedy of her death at far too young an age. If you were thinking of Princess Diana and Prince Charles, then you would be correct. Like many millions of others, I arose very early on the day of their wedding to watch it on television. I remember being enchanted by all the pageantry and the beauty of the bride. The groom looked very formal, if not dashing in his uniform. The carriages, the parade in the streets and finally the image that is seared in my mind of the royal couple stepping out onto a balcony to wave at the thronging masses below.
Would such a wedding today garner such international attention? Their divorce was a huge blow to the idea of fairytale romance and worse yet – when Princess Diana died, it felt like all the dreams of childhood where marriage and romance were concerned – they went with her. I remember getting up very early in the morning, many years older and going downstairs to make some coffee and then turning on the television to watch the funeral procession and service for the Princess that I’d watched get married.
Older, Wiser – But Romance and Marriage are Hardly Dead
No, I don’t believe in fairy tales. In my mind, the story of Cinderella is still beautiful and wonderful. After her wedding to her Prince – I hope that things worked out – but a fairy godmother cannot wave her magic wand and make our problems evaporate. Marriage takes effort and it takes real commitment. It means not walking away when things get rough or looking beyond the marriage for comfort and romance. It means marriage can succeed and we can make our own dreams come true – but these things don’t just happen. The sun rises every day, but whether we get a beautiful sparkling day with cool crisp air or dark, steel gray clouds and a heavy rainfall – it’s still a new day and you can still do something about it.
So, what do you believe is the key to success in a marriage?
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