Yesterday I wrote about 7 Cs you need in a marriage. Today I’m going to concentrate on 7 Cs you need to be wary of and try and eliminate in a marriage.
Complacency
If you have a good marriage the temptation could be to become complacent and think you have it made and so no longer have to work at you marriage. Nothing could be further from the truth. Complacency is a slippery slope to other problems. We never want to take a good marriage, if we have it, for granted.
Complaining
Some people just seem to have a knack for complaining. Nothing others do is ever right. It can be very wearing to live with day by day. What happens is the other person usually then switches off and doesn’t even bother to listen any more, so if you don’t want this to happen, keep complaints to a minimum.
Criticizing
This C often goes hand in hand with complaining. It’s just too easy to move from complaining to criticizing your spouse and finding fault. Criticism usually makes the other person become defensive or retaliate with criticism of their own. Neither is helpful in a marriage.
Condemnation
Condemnation is often the next step up from criticizing. If you’re not careful it can be so easy to become judgmental and condemn your spouse for behavior that doesn’t meet with your approval. ‘You can never do anything right. You are so lazy… stupid’… or whatever other negative adjective comes to mind are all condemning of the other person.
Confrontation
If you disagree with your spouse, make sure to keep your tone and your words measured and calm. Do not take up a confrontational attitude and stance. It only makes matters worse.
Conflict
Try to avoid conflict where possible. Every marriage needs a peacemaker, one who will apologize and bring things back to a rational discussion untinged by bursts of anger.
Closing Down
Closing down and withdrawing is as bad for marriage as being confrontational is. It is not fair on your spouse for them to not know what is wrong or troubling you. Sooner or later the things that are bubbling away under the surface will find a way out and when it does it won’t be pretty.
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Tact in Marriage