Many parents, including myself, worry about what their child would do if they were confronted by an attacker, kidnapper, etc. To ease your worst fears, I have some advice and tips for you that you and your child can do together.
I practice this often with my 6-year-old daughter, Samantha, and she enjoys it. It also eases her fears if she were confronted by someone that could hurt her. I use some of what I learned in Tae Kwon Do lessons, and some of the street smarts my fiancé learned growing up in a large city.
This is my role playing “game” that should only be done with children after they are taught about the dangers of strangers. I taught my daughter by telling her most people are good, but there are some bad people out there. The bad ones want to take children and hurt them. They use lies, tricks, or just pure strength. However, we can outsmart them.
Of course, explain this to your children in your own way – a way you and she feel comfortable. It can be uncomfortable and confusing at first on both sides, but just think of the talks you’ll be having in a few years!
I learned that most children are hesitant to hurt someone. They are always taught not to hurt other people. However, in self-defense, if the need arises, they NEED to hurt someone. This should be emphasized while role playing.
Making it a game for them, I think, makes it less frightening. Begin by letting them know that the two of you are going to play a game, and you are going to be the bad guy/lady. Have them pretend they are walking or playing outside. You take the role of the attacker by saying things to them, such as “I lost my puppy, can you help?”, “I have a cute kitten that needs a home”, etc. At this point your child needs to say “no” loudly and begin to walk away. Let them know that making space between them and the stranger is important. You now walk towards them saying, “please?”. Your child should continue to walk away, possibly toward home or the nearest house/adult. Eventually, you grab their wrist and pull. Tell them now is the time when they can hit, kick punch, bite, scratch, yell…anything to get loose so they can run. They can also scream, “No! You’re not my mom, you’re not my dad! No!” over and over. This will alert others in the area there’s a problem, and hopefully scare off the attacker. Attackers go for the weak and naive. They don’t want someone that will fight them.
Let them know that the most important thing is to get loose from their grasp, and run as fast as they can away from them, still screaming.
Practice this often, and change up the situations. I’ll have more on this topic in future blogs.
Stay safe!