For many prospective adoptive parents the thought of the Home Study can be very frightening or intimidating experience. After all, an individual who you have never met before comes into your house and asks you very personal questions about your childhood, your family, your marriage and your financial situation, among other topics. For those who have never had much experience with a Social Services Agency or Counseling, this assessment of your life can feel very intrusive. As my husband stated “you feel like your whole life is under scrutiny.” Further, your future dreams and hopes are in the hands of the Social Worker. You worry that you may say the wrong thing, your house may be too small, or something in your family history will prevent you from getting a good review.
Coming from the field of Social Services and being very aware of the nature of an assessment, (A Home Study is the term used when assessing a family to make sure that a child will be raised in a safe, stable, and loving environment.) I was not as worried about the Home Study as some would be.
The Social Worker who is coming to visit you to complete your Home Study should understand that you are going to be feeling apprehensive and try to put you at ease from the beginning. Yes, she is going to ask you personal questions, but she is not there to judge you or your past but to make sure that the environment that you live in is safe and suitable to raise a child. She wants to understand that you have a stable marriage, not a perfect marriage. She wants to be sure that although the discipline methods your parents used on you, may not have always been appropriate by today’s standards, your methods of discipline will be different and positive. She will want to assess that if you had issues of infertility that you have moved passed them and are ready to embrace the adoption journey. She wants to know that you will love this child as much as you would love a biological child. The Social Worker is also there to answer any questions that you may have about the adoption and the process of adoption. She will also explain the risks of adoption.
Overall, you should look at the Home Study as a time of mutual dialogue between you and the social worker. She is not there to prevent you from adopting, but to assist you in the process of adoption by writing a report that will show what wonderful parents you will be for your future child.