Deference is a simple concept but one that is a little more difficult to put into practice, especially when life becomes demanding. We all want to feel special, important, and feel like our wants and needs are a priority sometimes. Problems usually arise when both spouses want to be first at the same time. While no one should always take second place, it is important to give our spouses top billing some of the time.
Marriage is all about give and take and that means occasionally having to defer to your husband or wife. Deference is required in many different areas of a relationship, from giving in on a point of contention to deciding who gets new shoes first. Some issues can be resolved rather simply, while others may require much more effort. Getting a new pair of shoes is not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things, but accepting or rejecting the decision to take out a second mortgage on your home is.
It’s much more difficult to defer to your mate when confronted with important decisions or when the choice may require you to make sacrifices, but it is important to make our spouses know that we respect their ideas and choices. Sometimes, we need to give in even when we disagree.
When it comes to everyday issues, deference is still an important aspect of showing love for a husband or wife. It may be as simple as saying, “Go ahead, Honey, you can take a shower first; I know you had a tough day.”
Still, it’s not always easy to put the other person first, yet it shows your mate that his or her wishes and feelings are important to you. Feeling like the most important person in the world, the most significant person in someone’s life, is something we all desire. Fulfilling that desire for your spouse at least some of the time will bring the two of you closer.