How do you define love? I’ve discovered over the years that different people define love differently. I know some who find that love means accepting people for exactly who they are – flaws and all.
I know others who define love as a possession – a sense of belonging and owning all rolled into one. I know others who define love as meaning you have to forgive, whether you want to or not, whether the person you care about is sorry or not – forgiveness is there because you love them.
Love is Many Splendors
Yes, once again I fall victim to the cliché. But the cliché becomes a cliché because often it possesses some deep grain of truth. In this case, the truth is the fact that there are many different kinds of love. We often think of marriage as being the result of being in love. When you are in love, we couple the deep feelings of affection, fondness and sexual attraction all rolled into one.
Others define in love as that state that exists in the first few months of any new and profound relationship. You fall in love with a boyfriend. You fall in love with a future spouse. You fall in love with a child. But you do not necessarily stay in love so much as you develop a deeper, more abiding love.
Defining the Love You Feel
Defining the love you feel for the people in your life is hard, because it can be difficult to quantify emotion. We love our spouses. We love them as friends, as partners and as members of our family. I know plenty of people who think when you are no longer in love that you have fallen out of love.
I disagree.
I think being in love is when the relationship is new, when everything is a brand new experience and it is coupled with the sense of discovery and excitement. I don’t think you fall out of love, unless you become utterly indifferent to your spouse. You may not be in the first blush of love or in the throes of initial attraction – but that doesn’t mean you have fallen out of love.
Love ages. Love grows. Love evolves. Love develops. Love doesn’t just end or magically evaporate. You may fall into love – but it’s very hard to fall out of it.
So how do you define love?