When one or both parties of a broken relationship remarry, the feelings of can range from joy to deep depression. When children are involved, great care needs to be taken to make sure they are emotionally prepared to live with this new change in their life. Here are a few tips that might help to make the remarriage transition a bit smoother:
* Hopefully the children have had adequate opportunity to get to know the parent’s new significant other prior to the marriage. Time spent together should provide the ability to get to know the other person at some level. At the beginning fun outings are the best way to introduce a serious love interest. Take it slowly. Avoid the temptation to introduce all of your dates to your children.
* A special weekend getaway after the marriage announcement and prior to the big event is a great way to and provide at least one opportunity for blended families to start to get to know each other at a deeper level.
* Remarriage is not a continuation of an existing family, it is a new beginning or blending together of at least two families. This will take time and a lot of work to accomplish.
* Be patient and compassionate as feelings of betrayal and potentially the unmet expectation of the parent’s reuniting are dashed with a remarriage to another person. Anger can be a very common reaction to these feelings, especially among teenagers.
* Communicate with your children. Be willing to listen to them even if what they say is not what you want to hear.
* Involve the children in creating new house “rules” to help your family through the transition process. You can even post rules in writing for easy reference when things get heated between new siblings.
It is important to realize that no matter how much preparation, talking, and rationalizing you undertake-remarriage will affect your children’s lives and may take several years for them to adjust to the new family and bond with their new stepparent.