All too often, when we think or hear of single parents our first instinct might be to feel badly or think of the negative statistics associated with solo parents and their children. As a culture, we have come to readily acknowledge the pain and turmoil associated with the breakup of a relationship and its ensuing emotional and financial turmoil. More often than not, the changes that affect primarily single mothers inhibit a quality lifestyle for at least the first few years after the breakup.
I am not going to pretend that single parenting is easy or even a desired lifestyle choice for the majority of people, but when I am able to look beyond the vast challenges, I am able to recognize some positive benefits.
Many single parents report that one of the benefits of being the primary provider for their children is the close relationship that they are able to establish. Spending a lot of one on one time can be very beneficial. In addition, many times the non-custodial parent will value his or her limited time with the children so that their focus is primarily on the children during their parenting time. Distractions such as housework, dating, and work can be put on hold during their weekend time or conducted during other times, which enhances their ability to grow closer to each other.
Being a single parent who is primarily responsible for their children can help us to be completely overwhelmed or give us a determined purpose to thrive for ourselves and our kids. I have done more for my children and learned so many new things as a single parent than I did when I was married. Being single can push us to excel.
Single parents can set their own schedule. Of course I laughed out loud when I wrote this knowing that for the majority of us the children and their dance classes, or soccer practices and homework really set our schedule for us. But, at least we have the ability to make time to go to the park with the kids or take a fun day road trip without having to consult with another adult.
We can also utilize our own parenting style when raising our children without the worry of conflicting parenting styles. Yes you may have to deprogram after they spend a weekend with the other parent, but if you are the custodial parent, you have the advantage of utilizing your own parenting philosophy on a day to day basis.
These may be small joys when compared to the life you might have had before your breakup-but they can be held close to your heart to encourage you when life seems overwhelming.