Living in a neighborhood with people who are mutually respectful of each other can help to build a child’s sense of community. Unfortunately, for single parent families, frequently the most pressing factor in selecting housing is cost. Since many single parents struggle financially, it is often necessary to select housing in a less than desirable neighborhood. This is an unfortunate circumstance that often cannot be avoided.
Whenever selecting a new home, go to that neighborhood at different times during the day and walk around. Talk to neighbors and try to determine from their interaction with other children if the adults are child friendly. Look for potentially suspicious behavior. Try to make an informed as possible decision about where you choose to live.
When you move in to a new place, you should introduce your family to other families. I don’t live in a bubble and realize this can be very difficult in this day and age where people work from sunup to sundown, others don’t perceive people in neighborhoods to be a social outlet, and occasionally there are neighbors who are just downright cranky and don’t want to bother getting to know you. Some things can help to open the doors of communication like taking evening walks as a family can often open up dialogue and give opportunities to make introductions to people working out in their yards or taking walks. If you have a neighborhood or building park, go there frequently with your children and make introductions to other children and adults. Include other neighborhood kids in your games of football, or kickball, or offer to push them on the swing.
Try playing in the front of your home or in a central meeting area near your building. Say hello to people who walk by and make introductions when appropriate. Several years ago, we lived in an apartment complex, and had a nice grassy courtyard that was perfect for playing baseball. As soon as we got outside and started playing, kids from all over the complex would come running to join in on the fun.
Be sure to treat children from your neighborhood with respect and dignity-like you would treat another adult. Expect the children to treat you and others respectfully too. I had a few situations where some kids would use foul language that I don’t allow. I would tell them that if they want to talk like that they would not be able to continue to play the game with us. Speaking this corretion respectfully always helped them to speak appropriately and not feel ashamed about their conduct.
If possible try to coordinate a neighborhood cook out, yard sale or other activity that will bring many neighbors together once or twice a year. This will give you an opportunity to establish positive bonds with new and old neighbors alike.