Despite all children having one set of rights that protect them, they are still all unique
individuals with their own abilities and age or culturally appropriate behaviours. These unique parts of a child may at times need challenging if other children or parents attempt to make a child feel bad about themselves.
Over the years, I have heard many people say that they hate Aboriginals, Japanese, Americans or Irish. It doesn’t matter if the person from another culture is an adult or a child aged two years old. A person with a hatred mindset will not engage with the little one. This must be challenged if it happens within your ear shot because it is discrimination, is against the law and is against the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Likewise, many people refuse to play with a child because they have a disability or they wear funny clothes. Children can be cruel but they learn their cruelness from us adults. If cruelness and discrimination are learnt then they can also be unlearnt by modeling non-discriminatory, fair and consistent behaviour.
To challenge stereotypes and model acceptable ways of behaving towards others, you must be prepared to do it consistently. In my work as a child therapist, I have always found it easier to surround myself with posters and resources that encourage discussion about diversity: diversity of race, colour, age, religion, ability and gender. I also have some standard lines that I repeat when faced with racial comments from others, i.e., “I hate Italians,” my response, “Oh my goodness, if the Italians didn’t come here we’d never have had cheesecake or pasta.” I do not argue with the other person, I just nicely give them another side to think about. I also cross them off my Christmas card list because I am unable to tolerate racial discrimination.
Challenging stereotypes is easy to do with your own children. I use content analysis to bring my own children into an awareness of difference and acceptance. Content analysis is where we analyze the contents of a book, magazine, movie, etc, and count how many times difference is positively displayed. By engaging your children in activities that positively promote uniqueness, you would be challenging stereotypes without even having to say anything. Content analysis can be a fun activity to do, heightens children’s awareness, and builds tolerance and resilience in them.
What was the last child focused movie you watched? I watched Nanny McPhee and loved it. However, when we did a content analysis on it we realised that it was an inappropriate movie to encourage challenging stereotypes. Although the children’s behaviour was interesting and the way Nanny McPhee dealt with their behaviours was lovely, there were no different cultures or disabilities represented (except for Nanny McPhee’s unfortunate looks). Despite us all loving the story, we were aware that it was made for a particular audience. That’s okay, but at least my children know that it is a movie lacking in difference and that the dominant white culture represented is not the only way to be.
Another stereotype that parents often are trapped into is the stereotype of the perfect child. If someone does ever find the perfect child would you call me please because I soooo want to meet them. Parents often seem to think that by a particular age their child should be doing everything the textbook says. WRONG. Remember that every child is a unique individual; they all have their own learning ability, preferences, personality, and age appropriate ways of behaving.
I’d be interested to know how many opportunities for displaying child difference are presented in popular women’s/family magazines in your country. If you have one handy, could you do a quick content analysis on it please and let me know how it scored.