The other day, my ten-year-old daughter was waxing philosophical. “The apple never falls far from the tree,” she said, a look of wisdom on her face. “I’m a lot like you, and Benjamin is a lot like Dad. So, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” She mused for a moment. “Unless there’s a tornado while the apple is falling.”
I started to laugh, of course – how could I not? But she makes a good point. What children see the parent do, they will do. How many times have you sworn or gossiped within your child’s earshot to hear them repeat those words later, probably at a very awkward moment?
The same works for good examples. When your child sees you treat others with respect or do a good deed, they are more likely to do those things as well.
What do your children see you doing on a daily basis? Do they see you choose worthwhile television programming? Do they see you take a moment to pick up a good book? How do you spend your leisure time – are you inspiring your children to make the most of their time?
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that there are days when we just need to let our brains relax. We don’t always have to read Hemingway or Steinbeck, or watch documentaries on TV while taking copious notes. I love a good sitcom as much as the next person. But it’s what we do most often that makes the biggest impact. If all we ever watch is brainless TV and all we ever read are trashy romances, our children will get the message that it’s not important to make wise choices in our entertainment.
Every so often, my daughter will ask me what I’m reading or what I’m watching. She finds it very hard to understand why I like to read cosy mysteries. They usually have a skull or gun or knife or some other frightening looking thing on the cover, although the story inside is usually humorous, rather than graphic. I enjoy a good mystery, and I’ve tried to explain it to her, but in her mind, if the book is about murder, why would anyone want to read it? (Although, maybe she has a point.) This is a great opportunity for me to lead by example, to discuss with her the different genres, what’s appealing about each, and to help her navigate her way through the world of books. Right now she’s still in the Junie B. Jones and Magic Tree House phase, but later on, she’ll have a better understanding of what is available to her. Maybe murder mysteries won’t be her thing, but she’ll have a foundation to build from. The important thing is that she sees me read, and she sees me read a variety, from cosy mysteries to biographies to historical fiction to cultural books. Hopefully she’ll choose to keep her reading material varied as well.
Remember, your children have eyes in the backs of their heads. They are watching us to lead with example. You can help your child learn to love reading and learn to appreciate good television programming by the things you choose, and you’ll benefit too.