What is character education? Character education is the teaching of virtues. To many people the word virtue has an old-fashioned and negative connotation. Yet the lack of basic virtues is what is causing our society to crumble. Because children are not being taught character education in the home.
Shouldn’t something with the word education in it be taught at school? Although character education is taught in schools it is not always the education that you want your child to receive. Plus if virtues are not reinforced and modeled at home the child will not exhibit good character, or positive virtues, even if they are taught at school.
Andrew Mullins author of “Parenting For Character,” tells parents that children learn virtue through “positive example, loving confident encouragement to meet challenging expectations, clear consistent explanation and direction, routines and responsibilities with accountability and clear constructive correction.”
The Greeks identified four main virtues that each person needs to possess in order to live a happy, productive life: prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude. In today’s terms those virtues are good judgment, self-control, respect and responsibility, and resilience.
Good Judgment
Good judgment is the ability to make good choices or decisions. A valuable skill that many children do not learn. Parents can help teach their child good judgment by letting them make choices at a young age and then continuing this practice. Allowing your child more freedom in decision making as they mature. Talk about the consequences of certain decisions and share your opinion. Then let your child decide. Even if their choice isn’t what you would want they need to learn to accept the consequences of their decisions.
Respect and Responsibility
In order for a child to respect others and accept responsibility they must learn to focus on others and not just themselves. It is a very “me” oriented world and many children believe that what they want is more important than anything else. They disregard the needs of others or possible future consequences in favor for what they want today.
Children learn respect for others through their parent’s example. How do their parents treat each other? Do they speak respectfully of others? Do they treat their children respectfully?
Responsibility is best taught by working together as a family. As children complete chores they come to understand that it is by working together that things are accomplished and hat with privileges come certain responsibilities. Making sure that your children complete their homework also reaches responsibility. My children have chores that they must complete every day. This lightens my workload and helps teach them responsibility.
Self-control
In today’s society self-control is something that few people exhibit. Many believe that they should get what they want when they want it. At a young age children need to learn that they can’t always have what they want. Dr. Mullins says, “Children must be taught that affection is not best shown in material gifts; people are more important than things; good times are not more expensive times; and we have to resist the allure of what is shiny, new or colorful.”
We teach our children this by doing family activities that are inexpensive like playing games, going to the park, or driving into the mountains. My children often make homemade gifts for grandparents. They also know that if they want a certain toy they have to buy it themselves or wait for their birthday or Christmas.
Resilience
Resilience is about being tough and bouncing back. Those who are resilient don’t dwell on mistakes and keep trying even after many failures. Resilience is best taught by allowing our children to make mistakes and even fail, as long as they are not in any moral or physical danger. Dr. Mullins reminds parents that, “More important than avoiding mistakes is the sincerity to recognize mistakes for what they are, the determination to remedy any hurt done to others, and the habit of learning from mistakes.”
If your child forgets their homework don’t take it to them. Let them learn. Don’t do things for your children that they can do for themselves. My son still has a hard time tying his shoes. Yet I usually make him tie them himself, even if it takes him a few tries.
Teaching your child character education is a life-long task and isn’t always easy. But it will be worth it as your child becomes a successful happy adult.
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