We single parents often take great pride in our “Jack-” or “Jill-of-all-trades” ability to play whatever cards life deals us. There are times, however, when “going it alone” isn’t a good idea; when refusing to ask for help with a problem may result in an even bigger one.
Here are examples of five such situations.
Problem #1
Your child(ren) is/are “getting on your nerves.”
The Solution
If you never get a break – from your job, your kids, or the responsibilities of running a household – then you’re going to get worn out and stressed out pretty fast. How good of a parent can you be when you’re constantly frazzled and exhausted?
Offer to swap playdates or child care with the parents of your kids’ friends, preferably on a regular basis. You’ll take their kids on Saturday evenings if they’ll take yours on Sunday afternoons, for example. This will give you a few hours for yourself that you can look forward to, that you can count on. It’s great for your mental health!
Problem #2
Your child is misbehaving and you’re not sure how best to handle it.
The Solution
Call a friend or relative whose opinion you respect and especially, who has experience with a kid or kids of your child’s sex and age, and ask for his or her advice. An objective “outsider’s” viewpoint can help you determine a reasonable response to the misbehavior.
Problem #3
You have a major financial decision to make.
The Solution
Dave Ramsey, author of the “Total Money Makeover,” thinks that every single Mom should have an “accountability partner.” This should be a trusted family member or friend with whom you can discuss a major financial decision before you make it.
Your “accountability partner” should also be someone who won’t be afraid to tell you if he or she thinks that what you want to do would be a mistake. Finally, this person should be someone to whom you’ll listen.
Problem #4
You suspect, or you know, that your teen is abusing drugs or alcohol.
The Solution
This is a critical time to seek help and support from your family and friends. If your child’s other parent is available, it’s important to develop a consistent strategy with him or her for use by both of you in dealing with your teenager’s problem.
Problem #5
Your child suffers from a chronic illness, such as diabetes, and requires constant care.
The Solution
The responsibilities of round-the-clock caregiving can soon overwhelm a single parent. Ask a reliable member of your extended family if he or she can occasionally help you with the care of your child’s illness – in the case of diabetes, with things like blood glucose checks and insulin injections.
You need to take care of yourself too; having a “backup” now and then will enable you to do that.
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Two-parent families enjoy a built-in support system. Single parents don’t. So it only makes sense for us to enlist the aid of trusted adults to whom we can turn for advice and support when we need it: both for our own good and especially, for the good of our children.