1. Do NOT do things that will come back to bite you.
Seriously. Do not let emotions cause you to make irrevocable mistakes. Of course, this is a tough time, but you can make it less difficult by being smart. One example is venting your frustrations in a note – to or about – your soon to be ex. Don’t do it. Ever.
These things have a way of showing up in the courtroom. Do not put anything in writing that you don’t want the judge, the public, or even your mother to hear in open court.
Also, with the latest and greatest technology, you have to be careful what you say on the phone and even in person. You may very well be recorded without even knowing it. Many states allow recording as long as one party to the conversation is aware. Third party recording is usually a no-no, but in one party states, your ex is within his or her rights to tape every word you say as long as he or she is a party to the conversation.
Talk about your words coming back to bite you!
2. Do NOT let your spouse or the opposing attorney push your buttons.
This is a frequent tactic used to get you to lose it, usually in front of an “impartial” witness so it can be used against you later. Bite your tongue, walk away, or politely refuse to speak to either one without your own attorney present, but never let them provoke you into doing or saying something you will regret later.
3. Do NOT use the same attorney as your soon to be ex.
Attorneys are supposed to represent their clients vigorously. Not only is it impossible for a lawyer to represent opposing parties equally, it is also a conflict of interest. No decent attorney should even consider it. If you are entertaining the idea anyway in order to save money, keep in mind that it could very well cost you more in the long term than hiring your own attorney.
*Continued… Part II tomorrow with # 4-7.