We all get plenty of advice, good and bad, when it comes to marriage. People generally mean well, but sometimes they say some pretty crazy things. What is the best and the worst marriage advice you have ever been given?
The best advice I ever received was from my mom. That first year of marriage was tough, especially since I moved away from my family, friends, and hometown to be with my husband. I’d call my mom complaining, and say, “I want to come home.” She said simply, “You are home. Work it out.”
She was right. I was immature and ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble. I missed my family, my friends, my house, my job… starting from scratch was hard. It was also the source of my problems. I was suffering from culture shock and I was homesick. It actually had very little to do with my husband or my marriage.
As much as my mom missed me and hadn’t wanted me to move two states away, she gave me good advice. She could have been selfish, told me what I wanted to hear, given me a way out, but she didn’t. I’m glad now, because I can’t imagine my life without my husband. I’d start all over again, and again, to be with him.
The very worst advice I received was from a woman that I worked with years ago. My husband and I were debating about having another child. He wanted another baby; I wasn’t so sure. She told me to have my tubes tied while he was out of town on business and not tell him. I was stunned. I would certainly be upset if he made such an important decision without me. I could never do something like that to him!
I can’t imagine anyone thinking that such tactics could be good for a relationship. I like being married and plan to stay that way! Needless to say, I didn’t take her advice. Soon after that I became pregnant with my fourth child, and I can’t imagine my life without her either.
Have you received any advice that made a difference in you marriage that you would like to share?