Here is the final installment on this ugly side of child abuse. The following are HAP behaviors in the severe and critical category.
Severe:
Using excessive physical discipline on their children.
Violating court orders.
Telling the child that the other parent is not their biological parent.
Making false allegations of sexual or physical abuse against the other parent.
Not allowing the child to see the other parent unless under supervision.
Not allowing the child to see or communicate with the other parent on special days (Mother’s or Father’s Day, for instance), holidays or other special occasions.
Attempting to keep the other parent from attending school functions or providing the school with false or misleading information in an attempt to keep the parent uninvolved.
Changing the child’s surname.
Threatening or intimidating the child.
Intercepting mail sent to the child. This includes e-mail messages.
Withdrawing money or closing accounts that belong to the child.
Critical:
Making plans to or actually abducting the children and going into hiding.
Threatening to kill or harm the child.
Attempting suicide.
Attempting to blackmail the other parent.
Attempting to murder or cause physical harm to the other parent.
Sexual or physical abuse of the child by the parent’s new partner.
Failing to obtain medical treatment for the child.
For more information about HAP go here
It’s hard to believe a parent would go to such lengths just to get even with someone who hurt them, but as you can see, they do. We have to learn to let go and move on with our lives. When things go wrong in our relationships and we are hurt, our children should not become pawns in a real life psychological chess game. The cycle of abuse can be broken, but first you need to recognize the warning signs. If you are a potential alienator, Stop. If you see yourself becoming a victim, get help for your child.