Ladies, are you having one of those days when your morale could use a boost? If you are, then read on to learn why single Moms (according to this October 9, 2005 article from the San Francisco Chronicle) are the most desirable women out there!
(Sorry, single Dads — the article doesn’t say a word about you.)
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Moms Look Good to Guys
By Jane Ganahl, Copyright 2006, San Francisco Chronicle
(Posted with written permission of the author.)
So Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have gotten married — spoiling the fun of those who dismissed the relationship as being the union of a cradle robber and a boy toy. As descriptions of the ultra-private wedding trickle out, we learn that she wore a cream-colored Lanvin gown and that he wept for joy. And although Moore, 42, did not smudge her mascara by weeping, she did one better by telling Harper’s Bazaar magazine that Kutcher, 27, is her “soul mate.” She also implied that they wanted to be in the family way as soon as possible.
Could this be … true love? Why the heck not? Love is available in all genders, colors and age differences these days.
The Moore-Kutcher nuptials indicate a couple of things to me. One: We need to get over ourselves as a culture if we still think the older woman-younger man syndrome is somehow weird. Two: The perception of single women with children is shifting from undesirable to desirable — even glamorous.
It’s about time. That’s never been a fair stereotype, and besides, how can you generalize about 10 million women? Yes, that’s how many single mothers there are in this country, according to the most recent stats from the U.S. Census Bureau. And not surprisingly, that number is up from only 3 million in 1970. While teenage pregnancy is responsible for some of this increase, so is the divorce rate. And the picture of the harried unmarried mother balancing baby and briefcase is no longer in focus.
Single women — especially those of a certain age — are smarter and savvier and in better shape than ever before. Why, then, should single mothers not follow suit? (Well, OK — besides crummy economic conditions and horrific hours worked in a day?) Unmarried moms can be — if not movie-star-devastating — sexy indeed.
I am new to the term MIL*, but now it seems to be everywhere. Heard first in the film “American Pie,” that landmark of raunch, it means “mother I’d like to ______.” As an illustration, imagine being a teenage boy who goes to school with Demi Moore’s teenage daughters and sees her pick them up from school (assuming she ever does such mundane things). Zing! Can I carry your groceries for you, Ms. Moore? Mow your lawn? Meet you at midnight in the toolshed?
But teenage boys are one thing; it’s a big stroke for single moms that someone as dishy as Kutcher could meet Moore, with her brood of three girls, and not see a barrier to their relationship. Not dishy enough? How about Brad Pitt? After vocalizing in interviews how he craved becoming a father, he’s been seen all over the world cuddling Angelina Jolie’s adopted boy, Maddox, and even went to Ethiopia with her to pick up her second baby, Zahara.
Madonna made single motherhood look hot and was swept off her feet by Guy Ritchie — who is, incidentally, a decade younger. Matt Damon just proposed to a single mom, Luciana Barroso. Matt Le Blanc recently married a former model and mother of two, and singer Seal married unwed mother Heidi Klum.
OK, but what attracts normal men to normal women with kids — women who don’t look like Heidi Klum? I have no scientific evidence to back my notions, but having been a single mother for most of my daughter’s life, I think it’s fair to say single moms have a lot to offer in the dating department. Many of them have no need to procreate again; their biological clock has stopped ticking. This is very appealing to men who are ambivalent about becoming fathers themselves, but think they might have room in their hearts for a child.
Single mothers don’t seem to be in a rush to marry or remarry. They either have been there/done that, or are now concerned about introducing their children to a new man too quickly. Most single mothers I knew when my daughter was young would date privately for weeks, if not months, before introducing the suitor to their kids. And women in their 40s generally have their lives running pretty well, balancing home and kids and career. It makes dating something they do for fun — not for life support.
Single mothers have also undergone an image change in the media. Remember when former Vice President Dan Quayle all but blamed the TV character Murphy Brown for the decline of Western civilization when she opted to have a child out of wedlock? Since then, shows like “The Gilmore Girls” and “Friends” have made mothering without a father seem positively fun.
And as a survivor of single parenthood, who raised a child almost single-handedly, I can say that it can be very fun. And rewarding, and full of love and joy. And if Ashton or Brad had come knocking on my door, that would have been icing on the cake.