Marriage fitness is the goal of most marriages and it’s about strengthening the bonds of your relationship. Like your physical fitness, marriage fitness requires workouts and regular practice to keep it in shape. For example, when you and your spouse are having problems, internal or external or both; it can be more than problematic – it can actually inhibit your ability to work through your problems effectively.
Problem Resolution
When you tune up your marriage, you are looking for ways to resolve your problems positively before those problems even happen. For example, if you walk regularly you are strengthening your heart and lungs. You are also improving your endurance capabilities. The same thought process can be applied to your marriage. If you practice problem resolution techniques and fitness techniques regularly, you will have the skills necessary to cope with the big problems when they occur.
Relationship habits are things we all develop automatically, but we can also promote their development by practicing healthy relationship habits. Some habits that we should all practice regularly are:
- Active Listening
- Effective Communication
- Emotional Reinforcement
How Does It Work?
When we listen actively, we are not assuming responses. Too often in discussions, one participant or the other assumes what the answer of the other will be and instead of actively listening to what the response is – they just listen to what they assumed the response would be. This is very much like having a discussion with yourself and has all the positive and negative things you think they are going to say and not hearing what positive or negative responses they might be making.
Emotional reinforcement involves always assuming good intentions. Most often, in a healthy marriage, one spouse or the other will say things that can be perceived as cruel or hurtful – but the perception is based on a person’s emotional state at the time and not what was actually said. Couples should practice assuming good intentions on the part of their spouse and giving them the benefit of the doubt. The need to practice this can help you both to resolve your marriage issues – when stress is high and when stress is low. Marriage fitness is about getting your relationship into good shape so that you practice on the little problems and successfully resolve the big ones.
How fit is your marriage?
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