Sometimes as a parent it’s frustrating to tell your child to do something only to find out that they didn’t follow directions. Many times they didn’t follow directions because they weren’t listening in the first place. To make sure Tyler follows directions I employ a technique I found in a workbook, Common Sense Parenting, by Raymond Burke and Ronald Herron. The workbook is great and it’s actually a teaching tool employed by teachers at Boys Town. But all of the information in the workbook can be used in any family setting. Here’s what they have to say about following directions:
(1) When you are given instructions you should look at the person who is talking.
(2) Show that you understand by responding verbally, “I understand”, “OK” , etc. or nodding your head.
(3) When the person finishes talking, do what is asked , in the best way that you can.
(4) When you are finished, let the person know that you are.
(5) If you don’t understand, ask the person for clarification.
I actually go a step further and ask Tyler to repeat what it is I want done. This way I know we are on the same page and that he actually understands what it is I need done. This way, if he does not do it then I know it was because he was probably playing around and not because he didn’t know what he was supposed to do.
Sometimes, however, he does not complete the task because he can’t do what I need him to do but won’t ask for help. I have tried to get him not to be afraid to ask for help. The workbook also offers tips on how to get kids to ask for help. Here’s what they suggest:
(1) First, identify what the problem is.
(2) Decide who is more likely going to be able to help you.
(3) Look at the person and clearly describe what is needed.
(4) Thank the person who helped you.
Very simple techniques but they work well. One thing I like about the skills taught in the workbook is they teach kids to be very courteous to adults and to each other. And because it’s a workbook there are quizzes and exercises for you to complete. The book also has some ready-made behavior charts, information on time out and a nice section on how to conduct family meetings. I’ll tell you about the latter, in an upcoming blog.