Yesterday, I posted a blog on how to begin to facilitate attachment with adopted babies and toddlers before they come home. Today, I want to talk about doing the same with older children. One of the benefits of adopting an older child is that your older child will likely be aware that they are being adopted. Older children have the chance to prepare emotionally for the changes that are about to happen. It is important that you take advantage of this and do everything you can to help prepare your child.
Though it may be limited, you should be able to have some contact with your child-to-be. This can be a great help as you being to build the foundation for future attachment.
Here are some ways to begin to attach to you older child from afar:
•Pictures – “introduce” yourself to your child through a photo album. Take pictures of family members, pets, the rooms in your house and even places that you frequently go (church, grocery store, school, etc.)
•Letters – write letters to your child talking about what you are doing to prepare to bring them home. Often letters can be delivered by your agency or by other families who are traveling to pick up their children.
•Phone calls – don’t rule out this option. I was surprised to find that we can call our daughter’s orphanage in war-torn Liberia. You may be able to arrange a day/time each week or even only once a month to call your child’s orphanage or foster home. You’ll have to foot the bill, but the reward of talking to your child makes up for it.
•Gifts – Send small items such as stickers, beads to string into necklaces, small toys, activity books, etc. Remember to keep your packages small – large or extravagant gifts can overwhelm a child who is not used to having very much.
Related Articles:
Adopting An Older Child – Having A Positive Attitude