For most mothers, coming home with a newborn baby is the greatest joy in life. The time spent rocking the baby, feeding the baby, and providing lots of cuddling is an experience that cannot be described. However, sometimes, a mother will arrive home only to find her little one has zero interest in cuddling. In fact, some babies almost seem to resent being handled. As you can imagine, for the new single mother, this is devastating, a real let down.
Typically, you would notice a non-cuddly baby start to squirm while being held, not wanting to melt into the curves of mom’s body. For the mother, she generally feels sad, depressed, and hurt. When this occurs, most mothers feel as if they have done something wrong, something to alienate the child but in truth, some babies simply do not like to cuddle. As you can imagine, trying to bond to a child such as this is challenging but not impossible.
What you need to understand is that you have not done anything wrong. You are not a failure at mothering. Instead, you just have a baby that prefers less handling than other babies do. The first step would be to ensure there is nothing physically wrong with the baby. For instance, if he or she has sensitive skin, then too much handling is uncomfortable or even painful. Therefore, talk to your doctor just to make sure there is nothing physically wrong. If everything checks out, you will need to learn to connect with your baby in different ways.
For starters, you could place your baby on a blanket on the floor and then you get down to his level while playing closely to the baby while still providing him a hands-off experience. In most cases, this type of baby will respond well to love and play. You will find your baby smiles, coos, wiggles around, and enjoys your company. Although it is not the one-on-one handling, it is making a connection with the baby. By doing this, you can develop a strong bond that in some cases, will help show the child that holding is fine.
In addition, you might invest in a sling for carrying the baby around. This way, the baby is not actually being “held” but carried freely. In some instances, a non-cuddly baby is fine with a sling so this is always an option. Just remember, babies have personalities from day one and you may simply have one that is showing independence. With patience, you and your baby will find a happy medium.
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