When it comes to love, we should be giving ourselves fully and totally to the person we love. Our passion and our love should be one hundred percent of our all. It’s not about losing yourself, it’s about giving all of yourself. Too often when people are beginning to fall in love, they feel like they are spinning out of control, that they don’t know who they are anymore and the survival instinct kicks in and they pull back or break up in order to preserve themselves.
Sometimes, we tell ourselves that being in love means we never have to change, yet the very act of being in love means we change totally. If we love someone, we love him or her completely. That means what is ours is theirs. What is theirs is ours. This means their problems are ours. Their triumphs. Their failures. And the same goes for our problems, our triumphs and our failures.
To be in love means we are not alone and the person we love is not alone either.
Love Should Be a Little Scary
You should be a little bit afraid of falling in love, but at the same time – if you hold back from it, if you keep a part of yourself separate – then you aren’t letting yourself love. You are making an agreement and a contract and you are putting your reservations and conditions in the small print of the contract. You will continue to love them for as long as they meet those conditions, but the moment they don’t – you will not be involved, you will divorce yourself.
I have always felt that being in love should be more than a little like a religious experience. It should be about falling in and being consumed and consuming with every ounce of who you are. It should be about living in the present, treasuring the past and embracing the future. You should feel love and know love intimately.
Yes, it can be a little scary and it should be. Experiencing love, fully and totally means accepting that bad things can come and they can happen, but when you love someone and they love you – you are not alone and the only thing that can tear the two of you apart – is the two of you.
So, do you hold back?
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