Online romance is the type of thing you might read about in a novel. In fact, there are several series of romance novels that have used the online romance as a plot point because romance novels appeal to the fairytale wishes that people carry in their hearts. Romance, while considered a woman’s area, obviously appeals to men as well for they are often doing the romancing themselves. Where online romance differs from others is that it is a romance not grounded in the physical world but the virtual.
It might come as a surprise to many that even virtual property has a physical net value. A check of Internet sites finds items that exist only on game servers such as houses or the gold coin of these realms, being sold for real U.S. dollars. Not only do people sell them, but also they sell them because others buy them. Is it any wonder if virtual property has such worth that a chance encounter with another screen name might lead to a meeting of the minds? The beauty of online romance is that as the two people are getting to know each other, body language is absent from the equation.
It’s never more apparent that the lack of body language is a factor than when the two meet face-to-face for the first time. There is an innate fear that the personality they’ve become interested in or even learned to love will be inescapably altered when encountered in the physical body. Not to discount natural fears of one’s own attractiveness, but no matter how attractive a person is – they do not see this themselves. Beauty, like love, is found in the eye of the beholder. But in those first, tentative moments when a pair who’ve found online romance lock eyes in the real world, fear of rejection and disappointment race through the veins and cause the heart to pound.
The pitfall of the online romance is that by the time the first face-to-face meeting takes place, both parties have already invested something emotionally. Whether they have been in contact for months or just exchanged a handful of emails and are trying to meet casually, expectation exists for both of them. Expectations are dangerous things because they can be very unrealistic and grounded in the mental images people have conjured from the email or instant messages of their online romance. Much as when a novel is turned into a movie and fans argue over the casting because an actor or actress doesn’t fit the image the reader had in mind, so is the danger of meeting the virtual lover for the first time.
Don’t be discouraged, however, for the other party is probably experiencing the same level of anxiety. The tales of online romances which have lead to a happily ever after do exist and they are not just rumors or urban myths. Equally true are the disastrous disappointments between virtual lovers who discovered they couldn’t stand each other on really getting to know each other. There is no reward without a little risk, whether dealing with online or offline romance.
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