Breaking up with someone before or during the holidays is difficult, but is staying together worth it? While some people will make ugly claims that one of the people in the pair just wants extra gifts, there’s much more to sticking it out when the relationship isn’t working. There is the psychological aspect, the loneliness, going to holiday parties alone, and many other issues that play a role in making this kind of decision.
There are a few questions that should be answered in deciding if it is a good idea:
Is it Mutual?
Both parties must agree to such an arrangement and the conversation should be very honest. If you have no intention of treating this as a “second chance” and see no hope for making a future together, it is important to make that clear. It simply isn’t fair to lead another person on in order to prevent your own discomfort during the holidays.
Will Gifts be Exchanged?
You might want to avoid exchanging gifts altogether to avoid fallout later. At the very least, you should agree to a price range. You will be uncomfortable and the other person may be resentful if he or she gives you something extravagant but doesn’t receive anything or only receives a token gift. The saying, “It’s the thought that counts,” applies even more here. It’s not about the cost, it’s about the fact that one person obviously had no interest in choosing something special for the other.
Is the Decision to be Made Known?
Will you tell friends and family what’s going on or will the decision be kept private? When people see you together, they will think that everything is okay between you. Should you explain that you are only there together as friends, or should you leave it alone until after the holidays?
Can You Go Through with it?
If you still have strong feelings for the other person but he or she wants out, you may find staying together for the holidays to be very difficult. A clean break may actually be better. Think about it. Talk about it. Most of all be real about it.
My Advice?
People must do what they think is best for their lives, so I can’t really tell anyone what to do. I can however tell you that I tried this once and it was a huge mistake, so my best advice is to give it very careful thought.
*More Dating articles HERE.