Sadly, most people who has gone through a divorce probably know first-hand how dirty divorce can be. Sure, some people have civil and even friendly divorces but the majority is not so lucky. In addition to the husband and wife fighting over personal belongings, the house, the business, the kids, and even the pets, you get the divorce attorneys involved who also play power games as a means of gaining an unfair advantage.
With most divorces, the attitude is to “win at all costs”. Unfortunately, the problem with this philosophy is that far too often, the kids become caught in the middle, being the ones who are hurt the most. Although you cannot control another person, making him or her responsible, you can do a few things to prepare and manage the divorce, as well as the single afterlife.
The most important thing is to realize that divorce can be dirty and that you have to maintain a cool head, maintaining your integrity throughout the entire process, no matter how ugly things get. In addition to making you look better, your behavior could also have a huge impact on the outcome of many aspects of the divorce to include the children. By planning carefully, you can avoid many of the games played by the soon-to-be ex-spouse and his/her attorney.
While you want to be careful about playing games and being devious, you also need to look out for you and the children. For instance, if the two of you have a joint checking and/or savings account, go ahead and withdrawal your portion and open a new account under just your name. This way, you will at least have some money from which to build your new life. Now, to avoid starting a World War III, make sure any outstanding bills are paid and that the money you take is free and clear. Then, you also need to advise your husband/wife that the money was removed and will be used for you and the children.
The hardest thing for anyone heading to the world of single living is to stop the anger, you know, the blame game. Even if you have tons of reasons to be mad, before you start playing the dirty little games, think of the kids. Sure, you may be faced with instances when you are forced to make a difficult decisions, but I can speak from experience that by keeping your cool, once the dust of bitterness settles, which could be years down the road, you will be glad you avoided the nasty divorce games.
Single Parenting – Keeping the Family Together