I was reading an article in the Spring 2006 issue of “Midwifery Today” about how pregnant women felt about having their own mother’s involved in the birthing process. It intrigued me to read over all the reasons why a woman may or may not want to include her own mom in the new child’s birth. In addition to their own mothers, the article also interviewed women about how they felt over having their partner’s mothers involved in the birth.
I don’t think it dawned on me nearly twenty years ago when I was expecting my first child that I could have whomever I wanted in the delivery room. (Maybe it wasn’t allowed at that time since I had my children in hospitals.) I don’t know if my mother would have been too eager to attend if I’d asked either. There’s something very lovely, however, about the idea that a birthing woman could choose who to share the event with, and that she might, in fact, choose to have her mother there. What an amazing multi-generational experience!
Granted, however, that everyone behaved herself! I commented to my seventeen-year-old daughter about the article as I was stretched out in the loveseat, perusing over the pages. She is, at last, old enough to have returned to being rather friendly with her mother. “Oh, Mother! (that’s what they call you when they become teenagers–it’s no longer Mom or Mommy, but the exasperated “Mother!”) I can just see you, you’d be bossing everyone around!”
Well, certainly I would not. At least that’s not how I was envisioning myself. I saw myself as the wise laid-back grandmother-to-be offering back rubs and cool compresses. I think in my day dream there was also a harpist with flowing hair playing welcoming lullabies in the corner of the pleasant room. But my daughter had made a strong point, how would you manage all that family history and the dance of dynamics in the midst of a birth? Would it be like a wedding only worse? I suppose it could depend on personalities and how much therapy had already been accomplished.
I’m very intrigued by this idea of the multi-generational birth experience and I’d love to hear from people who’ve experienced it! (If you want to know more about the magazine “Midwifery Today,” the website is www.midwiferytoday.com.)