The Summer, 2006 issue of “Brain, Child” magazine has an interesting essay written by Katy Read dealing with the issue most of us parents face at one time or another–having our parenting skills dressed down in public by total strangers. The unsolicited parenting advice and judgment doesn’t stop once the baby is out of diapers, either. Seems everyone has an opinion on how, where and why parents should handle and care for their children.
The article got me to thinking about how I’ve honestly been on both sides of the fence on this one–I’ve definitely been the recipient of unsolicited advice, critique and scoldings from friends, family and strangers–but I’ve also had to bite my tongue (hard) to keep from offering tips to mothers of tantruming children, babies with bare heads in August, and loud children in the library. You’d think my own experience with invasive judgment would cause me to be more sympathetic and less likely to yearn to share my own hard-earned wisdom with unsuspecting parents!
To my credit, I almost always keep my mouth shut. However, I have to confess that I have “looked” disapprovingly at out-of-control pre-schoolers, mothers chastising their children in public and other activities my own judgmental self deemed inappropriate. In the words of my teenagers, what’s up with that? Who am I to offer anything but empathy and support to parents in public. After all, it’s one thing to take on the role and responsibility of parent–it’s another to have to wear all our parenting flaws and foibles out in the open in public, for all the world to see and judge. The added pressure of family gatherings, business events, and church when you’re trying to keep your kids in line can be incredible.
Have you ever been scolded or “dressed down” for your parenting choices or your children’s behavior when you were out in public?