All of my five adopted sons were classified as African American by the state when we took them into our home as foster children. One has no black ancestry. The other four do. They are beautiful children.
My wife and I are white. The community where we live is predominantly white. The training that the boys receive in regard to their ethnic culture will come from Nancy and me. The children know that they are adopted and realize that our family is biracial. They know that they started out in the “tummy” of a lady that was unable to take care of them and that my wife and I choose to be their parents. They also know that their birth mother wanted us to raise them.
Recently, the oldest boy and I spent a night in a hotel and did almost everything he wanted to do to celebrate his eighth birthday. We played at Chuck E. Cheese until closing time. When we returned to our room, it was already late but we turned on the television anyway. The public television station was showing an excellent documentary on the civil rights movement.
We sat on the end of the bed and stayed up very late watching the show. He asked questions and I elaborated on issues like the Montgomery bus boycott and the struggle to integrate Central High School in Little Rock. Neither one of us were tired. I had wondered about the timing to start teaching him about these things. Apparently, the time had come.
How do I teach a child his ethnic culture when I am not a part of that ethnic group? I will not do it perfectly. The important thing is not that I get everything right. The important thing is that this young man will have a father who loves him.
I grew up in the fifties in a southern state. I can remember when water fountains, public rest rooms, buses, hotels, restaurants, movie theaters, public schools and, even the courthouse, were segregated. I am going to start by telling him what things were like then, what happened to change the situation, and what things are like now.
I will write more on this subject in future blogs. I would appreciate any thoughts and ideas that you may have.
Should African Americans Only Adopt African American Children?