Tantrums are something that most parents experience some more than others. Unfortunately I have had my fair share of tantrums. There are two important things that I have learned: first that when my child is having a tantrum I need to control my own feelings, and second that I need to teach my child correct behavior.
One of the hardest things to deal with as a parent is a temper tantrum. It is so easy to allow your child’s behavior to influence you. So you need to develop your own stay calm techniques. I like to count to ten before responding to my child. This gives me a chance to get my own emotions under control before trying to deal with theirs.
It is a good idea to establish a plan of how you will deal with temper tantrums every time that they happen. Discuss the plan with your spouse. It is important that both parents have the same expectations and enforce the same consequences.
It is important that you remain consistent. Don’t argue or debate with your child. No one wins an argument. Plus if you start yelling you are only encouraging your child’s behavior and teaching them that yelling is acceptable behavior when you are angry.
Calmly take your child to a spot where they cannot hurt themselves and let them cry or scream out their anger. When my four-year-old throws a temper tantrum I simply put her in her room and let her cry it out.
After the crying has stopped take some time to discuss the tantrum. Describe the behavior that you want to see. When my daughter has stopped crying I will talk to her and comment on how much nicer it is when she doesn’t cry. She also realizes that crying will not get her what she wants.
When your child throws a temper tantrum in a store it is so easy to give in. But that only encourages the behavior. Leave the store if you need to and go to the car for a timeout period. Remind your child that they cannot have what they want. Then when the tantrum is over return to the store and praise your child for exhibiting appropriate behaviors.
I’m not saying that this is easy. I have been known to respond with my own anger when one of my children has thrown a temper tantrum at the end of a long day, but I try to be a good example and respond the way I want my children to act. As a result the number of temper tantrums in our house has decreased.
For more information see these related blogs:
Discipline Do’s and Don’ts
Taming Tantrums: Take Your Child on a Dry Run
How Do You Handle Conflicts With Your Kids?